I am emotionally stupid

I really don't like getting mad at people, even though it seems like I'm mad all the time. I really feel bad afterwards, I regret, and the thing I want to do most is to take it all back or apologize. But why should I feel bad all the time for being a normal human being with normal human emotions?

I keep hearing about this stupid "emotional intelligence" (EI) thing, that companies and schools are going to start hiring or accepting people based on EI scores. The reason is because they want people that won't let their emotions get in the way of anything, people that are really empathetic to others and know the "right" way of dealing with people, which means basically asking other people what they want and how you can make their lives better, and then being honest with people when they aren't doing something morally correct. It's so hard to imagine a world where everyone is emotionally intelligent. Is that really what people want? A bunch of goody-goodies that are completely honest with everyone about how they feel (but never angry or overly emotional) and who want others to be completely honest with them? It's like, "Your harsh words scathe me, I would appreciate if you did not use those words when you speak with me. Let's talk about why you use that language and let's see how I can help you." Not like, "Don't talk to me that way, bi-atch!"

Take this quiz and tell me what you think.

The touchy-feely way vs. the iron fist

I found this link off of someone's blog. It talks about how to be a good leader by being a kind, emotional person. People don't respond well to mean, emotionless people.

I completely disagree with that article. I don't think it's better to have leaders that are touchy-feely and don't want to get serious with issues, only emotions. Sure, those leaders will be more popular and you'll want to invite them to your wedding and the birth of your first born, but when do you get anything done? I guess it goes back to my previous post about work-life balance. Emotional leaders want you to make work work for you...if you can't get something done because you have to go home and feed your kids, then it's ok. Kids come first. I agree that your life comes first, but an emotional leader can't compensate for the work that's not being done. They let people have their way because it's better than arguing or negotiating about it. Which I guess in the way of life being first and work being just a job, it doesn't really matter anyway. But for the sake of arguing, I'll continue...

I've seen things at work where a leader is really nice about things and he just wants everyone to be happy, and what ends up happening is that people start to take advantage of that person. They know that person won't care if you don't do your assignments. And then it's the people who are obsessed about work like me who end up getting screwed over in the end. I always find problems and have to deal with fixing them because I'm always at my computer, I'm not picking my kids up from soccer practice. And I guess as long as there are jerks like me who work all day and don't care about their families, then things will get done. (Yeah, I know, maybe I should just stop being at my computer all the time, but I really can't get work out of my head most of the time. I'm obsessed, I tell you.)

Well, maybe the leader should just be more assertive with letting people know what's what, and that everyone has responsibility at work even if it's not the most important thing to them. Sometimes a touchy-feely person needs to start smacking people around to be an effective leader. Otherwise they'll just get stepped all over and then people will be touchy-feely with their limp corpse. And no one wants that.

Life-work balance?

People used to call it work-life balance but then all those pro-lifers got involved and said that life was more important than work so it should come first. That's like the argument you have with your spouse when you decide to hyphenate your last names. Who is more important? Which name should come first? That's why I'm against hyphenating last names...that and also because you might end up with a name like I saw the other day on some morning show, Something Van Corkinschmidt-Flinchmenstein. It was funnier than that but I couldn't remember it enough to find it on Google.

I can't decide how to feel about work anymore. I always try to force myself to think, "It's only a job, it's not your life"...but I can't, and then I get annoyed when people treat it as "only a job" and not THEIR JOB. I always expect people to feel the same way about something as I do.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I really worked from 9 to 5. And after 5, I wouldn't think about work, I wouldn't talk about work, I wouldn't do anything having to do with work. Maybe I'll try that today. I know I probably can't control what I think or dream about (yeah, sometimes I dream about work, disgusting, isn't it?), but at least I won't DO work. Which probably means during work hours, I shouldn't let myself blog or do stuff that I should do during my life hours.

Hmm...